did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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