we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
