Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
