He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
