508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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