Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
