i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
