I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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