need another drink. this is the easiest way
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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