Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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