Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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