No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
