he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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