just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
