she was so not down for the gang bang
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
