my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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