i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
