I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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