1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
