gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
