I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
