its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
