So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
