he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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