So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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