Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
