I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
