you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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