I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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