I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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