just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
