you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
COCAINE IS GR8
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
