honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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