One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
