I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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