chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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