I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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