the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
