we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
