I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
