Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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