think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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