It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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