he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
