help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
