You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
