DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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