I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
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Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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