Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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