either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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