My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
