walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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