I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
