My room smells like vodka and shame
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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