I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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