Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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