bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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