I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
