He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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