idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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