They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
