she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
