I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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