Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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